Love at the Center

Deb Lemire, speaker at UU Congregation of Greater Canton, July 2024

Those of you who know me well, know that I make part of my living doing live theatre, with musical theatre being my first love. For the past 20 years I have worked at Magical Theatre Company in Barberton. Our focus is on families and young audiences, and we do a lot of work with young actors. 

Years ago, we were touring a show to schools and I was an actor in the show but I was also the adult in charge of driving the kid actors back and forth.  One day we were driving home from school and one of the kids, Tommy, probably around 10 or 11 years old, asked me, out of the blue, what I thought the most powerful force in the universe was.  He was very serious.

A lot of thoughts ran through my head, Do I answer this ? Can I answer this? Am I answering as a “Magical Theatre” employee, and would it get me in trouble? I had done several shows with Tommy before, and we have had many chats that were not necessarily weird.  Anyway, it felt complicated.

So, I thought about it a minute and then responded …Love.  I thought Love was the most powerful force in the universe.  He paused for a minute and said he thought God was the most powerful force.  We left at that. Tommy is grown now. He is a trained chaplain and a youth pastor.  And while I haven’t followed up with him, I would wager his answer and my answer have since merged.

When the makings of the new Article II started coming together and “Love at the Center,” was emerging, it caught my attention. I thought about Tommy’s question to me all those years ago.  And now I am quite sure I gave him the right answer.  Love.

Love is the most powerful.  Love is what changes, everything, as the song says. Love grieves and heals; can withstand chaos and live in quiet corners; it brings us together for justice and peace and forgives us when we struggle to show up.  Love is its most powerful when we keep it at our center.

We don’t always do a good job of that. In discussions around the proposed changes of Article 2, we all were very aware of the fear and anger in online discussions, in our own church, at General Assembly. 

For me it was difficult to wrap my head around. Why can’t we have productive, meaningful conversations around this.  Why was this hard?  It was about Love.  Was love hard?

Now the changes to Article 2 have passed, so here we are.  Does it mean we throw away the principles? Of course not, they are part of the foundation of who we are.  We are building on them, expanding them to embrace what we value…. justice, equity, transformation, pluralism, interdependence and generosity. And when we grab onto each of those threads and bring them together, we understand that they are all aspects of love.

For what is love if not just and equitable?  Cornell West says, “Justice is what Love looks like in public.”    Do we not see transformation in people when we offer them support and generosity and compassion even if it is just in the form of listening, so they feel heard?  What is love if it doesn’t help us grow in all different ways allowing us to move into our future and not remain stuck in the past?

Love doesn’t exist in a vacuum.  It implies relationship.  A relationship with ourselves, with each other with our community.  I think we can most clearly see love at the center in relationships.  Love for your child, love is at that center. That’s how you get through them being teenagers!

Love for your partner or spouse. If you have been together for a long period of time, Russ and I just celebrated 34 years, if love isn’t at the center of the relationship, you don’t survive it. 

Love of those you care about. Your family, your close friends, your dog.  I mean come on, have you met a dog?  You can’t tell me that dog doesn’t clearly understand that love is at the center of that relationship!

But it’s not always clear.  Sometimes it is hard.  How do you hold love at the center when things are difficult, when you’ve been disrespected, left behind or even harmed?  How do we have the willingness or strength even to pull those strings together in love?

What is love if we cannot stand up and speak out against egregious wrongs being committed?  William Sinkford, past UUA president says “Resistance” is what love looks like in the face of hatred and violence.

 The last seven or eight years I have felt like there is this heavy worrisome weight or cloud over me, over our church, our association, our country, over our world.  Those in political power took devastating swings at the middle class, marginalized people and the poor. 

Then the pandemic came and a whole new layer of fear was added.  Then George Floyd.  Now Palestine. Earlier this year we were watching court trials of a past president, who remains a candidate in the presidential race, even after conviction on 34 felony counts.

Our country is polarized, our churches and families are polarized. How did we get here? How did we get to this place where it feels like justice is impossible and we are not able to move forward into the future but remain stuck arguing about the past? What does love at the center look like now?

A little over a week ago President Joe Biden removed himself from the presidential race. Suddenly there were new and unexpected opportunities.  And while everyone speculated why exactly, health, poor performance at debate, whatever.  One thing we don’t have to speculate on is he did it out of love for his country, our country.  He put love at the center of that decision, not ego, not self-interest, not comfort, but love smack in the center. 

And let me tell you we all felt it.  No matter where anyone is on the political spectrum, we felt it.  That weight, that cloud, is dissipating. Putting love at the center changes everything. 

*Love is hard.

Love for people, especially those who are different from you.

Love that says, “I see you as a person.”

Love that says “let your unique light shine in the world” because each of our souls touches the divine mystery.

Love that says, “we’re on a journey together, and my fate is tied up with yours.”

Love that grabs you and won’t let go until your whole life is dedicated to siding with love.

Love that changes the world.

Given everything our world faces today, having faith in love is no small thing.

Love is hard. Do it anyway.

Love will never, never let you be the same.

*Adapted from ”Love is Hard,” Carey McDonald, Terasa Cooley; quote from Sophia Bentacourt; and “Love Changes Everything,” by Andrew Lloyd Webber.