Dear Ones,
What would we need to live on Mars? A lot of stored oxygen, some kind of weighted boots to keep from floating into space, spacesuits to protect us from the extreme heat and dust… What would we eat if we lived on the red planet?
What would you we do to relax? I’m not suggesting that we all move, this is a metaphor. What would we need to live in extreme conditions that were unlike anything we have experienced before?
I ask because this is a strange and difficult time. A time unlike anything we have lived through before. We are isolated for long periods. Parents are raising children with little external support. Health care systems are overwhelmed.
And we are afraid of getting a virus that, if we survive it, has unknown long-term effects on the body. We are deeply weary from the uncertainty and emotional difficulty of pandemic life. So what do we need for this time, when we may as well be living on Mars? Remaining calm and healthy requires different skills and tools than our business-as-usual lives did, back when we lived on Earth. That doesn’t mean that we are failing or doing something wrong. No matter how good we were at living on Earth, life on Mars is really odd and hard. And sadly the suicide rates here on Mars
are very high. Despair is the (other) pandemic. What can we do to help us survive? In these final months before returning to Earth what do we need to keep going?
Even if you didn’t need it on Earth, therapy might help with life on Mars. Online therapy is approved by most health insurance companies and if you are uninsured the Minister’s Benevolent Fund would love to help you pay for the sessions. A good place to find a therapist is NAMI, the National Association for Mental Illness. It used to be hard to find a therapist if you have marginalized identity, particularly if you are BIPOC or Trans. Fortunately the internet can help- Queerhealers.com has mental health and alternative health practitioners who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, Transgender, and GLBTQI. TherapyforBlackGirls.com can connect you with Black therapists. InclusiveTherapists.com manages a directory of professionals from historically marginalized communities queer, poly, BIPOC. [Thank you to Martine Thompson for these resources. She writes for my favorite food site, Healthyish]. Maybe you haven’t done therapy before, or maybe you tried it and didn’t like it. That’s okay- this is a new and unfamiliar planet. Therapy might help you breathe a little easier now. If one-on-one therapy seems too intense, there are plenty of group therapy/support group options. You can find those on the sites above. Also you can come to the Support Group for Being Human, which is open to everyone, and the Parenting Support Group (which is only for kittens. Just kidding, it’s for parents).
Another skill you’ll need on Mars is to find something new and enjoyable that settles your mind. On Earth you may have been too busy to have a lot of hobbies. Here on Mars taking up knitting, building birdhouses, snowshoeing, or Indian cooking will give your brain time to process all the chaos of the current reality while your hands are busy. This will lead to feeling relaxed and sleeping better. Plus, you’ll have new socks/a birdhouse/muscular calves/ good food for dinner. I am knitting tiny stuffed succulents. Why? To relax. What will I do with a pile of tiny succulents? No idea. But it’s a relaxing and satisfying way to spend time.
Finally, here on Mars we have to be willing to ask for help. I know we are Midwesterners and therefore not up to getting all emotionally gooey with our neighbors. That’s okay, just think of a handful of people you can reach out to if you want to talk or need support. Last weekend a friend who lives far away asked if I could have a Zoom chat with her daughter, so she could have a half-hour to do other things. Fun for me and she got a break! Think of ways you can get help even while socially distanced. If you are lonely and need a friendly voice reach out- loneliness is at epic levels so odds are they will be glad to hear from you.
The next months may be difficult but we will get through them together. If it gets to be too much and you are thinking about hurting yourself, please call me and/or the suicide hotline (800-273-8255). Things are going to improve- I promise- and I don’t want your to miss the fun we are going to have post-pandemic. We need you. Reach out. You are worth it.
I love you fellow Martians,
Rev Kate